Darryl, the Boy who Lived a Life of Adventure
by Scorpiontail
Summary: When Darryl realises that he's no ordinary boy, an adventure awaits him. He must live the new life that has presented itself to him or perish in flames. Warning: contains some violent scenes and some sexual stuff. PLEASE REVIEW IT! I'm new!
1. Chapter 1

Darryl was no ordinary boy. He had magic powers. One day, he woke up. Then, he used his powers and his lamp exploded! That's when his parents knew his ability exists. It was usually not good.

Some days he would wake up and think everything is good. But it wasn't. It couldn't be more bad than it was going to be bad. As soon as his classmates walked outside, they all tripped and some broke their noses and cried and their cries could be heard throughout Privot Drive (Harry's neighborhood). That's right, Harry was Darryl's next-door neighbor. But they didn't know each other because Darryl knew Dudley harrys brother and he did not want to be squashed by his large fat so he avoided the family. Exept he had a crush on the mom, because she had a long, luxurious neck. One day, Darryl thought to himself, I will be Petunia's lover, and this will be because I have power's and a superior sex-drive to Vernon.

And one day, a thing happened which was good. Amazing good. Very! When Harry blew up the aunt with the mean dog, which happened in book three, he also blew up Vernon! But it wasn't Harry, it was Darryl, who was more powerful than harry. In fact, if they dueled, Darryl would definitely win. So darryl blew them up to the sky, where they were hit by a nuclear bomb aimed at their town! If it had hit, all of New York would have ecsploded! So Darryl was not only great, but he was great hero also to being great. So anyway, Petunia was left alone. And she was sad. So Darryl wanted to take a chance.

He walked up to Petunia…


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

…and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned, and said "Why hello Darryl, how are you?"

Darryl smiled. His teeth were so shiny. That's because he had used magic to make them shiny. Petunia was extremely impressed, and offered Darryl some hot chocolate, because it was a cold night. Darryl accepted, and went inside.

"What brings you to my humble abode, Darryl?"

"I couldn't help but notice that your family is gone, where are they?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"kk."

Darryl took a sip. It was warm. Aunt Petunia sat next to him at the table.

Suddenly, Petunia started crying "whats wrong!?"

"Oh nothing! I just… I'm confused. Because I love you, but I thought I love

Vernon. And now I don't know!"

You can love Vernon _and_ me!"

"Can I"?

"Yep"

Petunia just gazed into Darryl's eyes, and then kissed him. Darryl had never kissed a girl before, so he was surprised, but knew that he was doing the right thing.

"Come to bed with me, Darryl. I want you!"

"No problem, baby!"

Darryl was sporting an erection.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

Darryl walked slowly into the room. Aunt Petunia was lying in the bed, without clothes except for a frilly apron with a heart on it. Darryl knew that the heart stood for their love. Licking the hot chocolate mustache from his upper lip, which still had not started to grow a mustache, Darryl slowly stepped forward. The floorboards crackled like fire. His heart was on fire. But suddenly, so was the heart on Petunia's Apron, and suddenly Darryl knew what Petunia's Apron was. It was Voldemort! The fires engulfed her body.

"Nooo! Petunia take off the apron!"

But she thought he was kidding in a sexual way, and responded by doing an erotic striptease. She started to take off each strap, but then she saw Voldemort's face in the flaming heart, and screamed! She took off the apron. First, Darryl took a minute to servay Petunia's hot body, with her supple legs and crane-like neck. He took a mental picture… for later.

But then Voldemort attacked him! He hissed "Avada CADAVERA!"

And a bolt of green lightning streaked through his wand and hit Darryl. Darryl tried to do a triple back flip (he could), but he wasn't fast enough, and the streak hit him in the forehead. He fell to the ground… DEAD!!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

The room had silence. Petunia just stood there painting and naked. Sweat rolled down her neck, and her boobs and button. Voldemort, who is gay, didn't pay attention, and stared at Darryl. His lifeless corpse sat there with a grim stare.

(AN: Truly, life is a treasure that cannot be found in a chest. It must be used for good, and not for Voldemort. Through life we find salvation. Salvation is good because it makes God love you. Controversy camewhen Dumbledore announced his closeted man-love feelings, and Voldemort is afraid. He hides because he fears God and reject from.)

Suddenly, Petunia made a noise. Voldemort moved on his feet, but fell on the hard wooden floor, and backed into a corner, whimpering. The aunts dog (who was still in the house) heard the noise and thought Voldemort was another dog (Voldemort was hairy) and started humping his shoulder. Voldemort bit the dog with his rasor- sharp teeth, and the dog ran out of the room.

Petunia made another noise. This was high pitched and annoying. Then something happened… abad thing! Petunias eyes opened wide. Then the pupils expanded. Voldemort was shocked in fear. Then the eyes split open! Red fluid poured out onto her bare naked body. I dontt know which was louder, her screams of pain, or Voldemort's screams of fear!

I watched from the window. I didn't know what to do. Run and get help, just run. Or risk my life to try to save my mother. I am Dudley, and this is my story.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5

I ran into the house. To be more precise I ran into the door, because I forgot to open it. Sometimes people call me stupid. But I punch them, so they will regret it. Anyway, I walked into the house on my second try. Turning left, I walk into my parent's room where I see what was happening.

My mom was lying on the ground, naked, with blood spurting up like geysers from her eyes where her eyes should have been. Voldemort was crying in the corner. And then I saw Darryl.

"Uncle Vernon MEANT the WORLD to me!" I screamed, as I threw some stuff at his corpse. But it got Voldemort's attention. He stood up, shaked dirt off of his shoulder, dog semen off of his robe, and fear off of his mind. "Dudly Dursly, you will die!"

He stood out his wand at me, and invisible hands pushed me against a pillar. I puked. Never before has I been bested at my own game. Normally I beat in fights. But now I don't win.

Voldemort punched me in the face again and again. Grinnnig as he did it. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, OW! OW! OWWWWWW! OOOOOWWWWWWWWW!"

A trickle of blood came out of my ear. When I saw my blood, I grew angry. I lifted my eyes, and punched back. My fist hit his fist and our fists collided. A shockwave erupted like a volcano. The dark wizard was flung back. And landed on Darryl, who WAS ALIVE! Darryl got up and stabbed Voldemort. But I was angry at Darryl, so I attacked.


	6. Chapter 6

Swinging with both fists, I hit a flurry at Darryl. He obviously knew that I would be angry, because he cried in terror. But then he did a triple backflip! I was stunned, but only for a moment, because I got up, brushed myself off, and fought back.

Our fight was raging for hours. He shot spells at me, ones I didn't know, and I punched wildly at him. All the time I was yelling things like "Eat this!' to him. I landed a punch, and broke one of his perfect smiling teeth. I grinned, as if to say "ha, my grin is full", but my grin turned into a scowl, as I saw a figure rising behind Darryl. He saw my stare, and thought I was staring at his nakedness. He grew angry, and shot spells, but I screamed "IM NOT GAY!!!!" And he knew what I was staring at.

Voldemort, with the blade still wedged in his left eyeball, was rising from the grave. He shouted ina womanly voice however whats going on!?"

We were confused. We both looked at him. He was standing there, like he had before, exept now he was talking like a girl. "Why are you doing that!" yelled Darry.

"Doing what?" responded the female voice eminating from our target.

"talking like a woman"

"Because I AM a woman, don't talk to your mother like that!"

My mouth was a gape. "MOM!?"

"No, tom sawyer, yes your mother!"

"But- but how?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Dudly. But you scaring me!"

I have no idea whats wrong with her… She seems ok. But she remembers nothing. And shes in Voldemorts corpse. Then it hit me.

When Voldemort hit Darryl Petunia's true love protected him, but killed her. But the spell that hit Darryl put a piece of Voldemort into the target, but because the one who received the spell was Petunia, she got the piece of him. And she, in turn, deposited her soul in Voldemort, and when he died, she became him.

"Oh no!"

Darryl and my mom, in the form of Voldemort, had started making out!


	7. Chapter 7

Darryl, my enemy, forever, my mom, the woman I love. I tried to look away, but I couldn't stop staring at floor. They were making out with such passion it took my breath away. But all the while I realized that it was voldemort. It made me sick.

Eventually, Darryl got up and turned to me.

"This doesn't change anything" he spat.

"I know," I replied with a vengeance.

Suddenly, Petunia cried out. A letter had hit her (him) in the head.

"Its from Hogwarts!"

Darryl opened the letter but I took the page from him to read. I cleared flem from my throat.

"Dear Darryl, Dudley, and Petunia. All three of you have been invited to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You may bring a toad or owl. Please bring school supplies, as we have none to supply you with. Thank you."

"Oh my god." My mom swooned. She had never gotten a letter like this.

"What?" I questioned her saying

Because she had never gone to Hogwarts, because she had never gotten powers, because she's a sqwib, she had never know what it was to be a wizard. But now she must have developed them, or, she gained them from her body's former master.

"We're going to Hogwarts!"


End file.
